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IN FOCUS: ARTICLE |
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Teen Runaways
by Brett Schaeffer, 09.24.04
"To choose to run away is to risk ending up on the street." |
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There's a point in many teenagers' lives when, in the midst of a heated argument with mom or dad, they threaten to run away from home. Some make it a few blocks from home, and some only get as far as the front door, but others hit the ground and don't stop running.
That's been the case for Marquita, a 17-year-old from Philadelphia who first left home at 15. "I was living with my mom, and we weren't getting along," she says. Simple discussions about household responsibilities turned into shouting matches with her mom screaming at her.
Marquita talked to her dad, who didn't live with her and her mother. "He told me that when my mom gets like that to just step off," she says. But keeping her cool became difficult, so Marquita would stay away from home for a few days, usually at a friend's house. Days soon turned into weeks, and her mom would call and call, asking her to come home. Sometimes Marquita would return, only to leave again when the yelling resumed. Although her mom never hit her, Marquita couldn't deal with the emotional abuse.
For the past two years, Marquita has shuffled from one friend's house to another, from one relative's house to another, always finding a place to stay. Even though she's patched things up with her mom, Marquita can't imagine living with her again. "I don't want to go back," she says.
Why Run?
Marquita left home because of verbal and emotional abuse, but other teens often face more physical dangers at home. "For the most part, kids are running away from abuse," says Rick Koca, founder of Stand Up for Kids, a national nonprofit organization that helps runaway and homeless teens in 33 cities throughout the country. According to the site, there are 1.5 million youth under 21 currently living on the streets in this country, and it's estimated that 13 of those children and teens die every day.
Archie, 17, left his home in Philadelphia when he was only 12. His mother's boyfriend repeatedly beat him. "I got tired of it and ran away," he says.
Archie lived with his great aunt and then a cousin, shuttling back and forth — like Marquita — for the past several years. Archie now has a part-time job and is hoping that with the help of the city's Department of Human Services, he'll be placed in an independent living facility.
"On my own is the best place to be," he says.
Kicked Out
Not all runaways leave home by choice, explains Willie Little, Director of Youth Emergency Services, an emergency shelter for Philadelphia teens. The shelter is part of Youth Services, Inc., a nonprofit agency that works with the city's Department of Human Services to provide a variety of support services for youth and families.
In many cases, he says, the teens who arrive at the shelter have been kicked out of their homes for bad behavior, ranging from chronic school truancy to drug abuse. Kids are also kicked out of their homes for being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender; for not conforming to expected gender roles; or for being "sluts."
Shereda, 18, lived in foster care as a child. Every weekend, she says, she ran away from her foster home to go stay with her friends' families. As a teenager, she moved in with her older sister. One night Shereda went out and stayed out all night, drinking with her friends. Her sister called the police, thinking Shereda had run away. The police picked her up, and when they returned her to her sister's house, Shereda was no longer welcome.
"My sister kicked me out," she says.
An aunt steered Shereda to the Runaway Youth Program's shelter, and, like both Archie and Marquita, she's hoping to find a spot in an independent living facility.
Tell Someone
Shereda considers herself lucky because she was never forced to live on the street. But she's well aware of the dangers: drugs, prostitution, violence, and even death. Her advice to teens contemplating running away is to try to work things out with their parents or guardians. And what if that teen is being abused physically, sexually, or emotionally? Go to the police, or a trusted adult, like a teacher, neighbor, or religious leader. "To choose to run away is to risk ending up on the street," says Shereda.
Rick Koca agrees. "If you're being abused, tell someone. Don't run away."
Marquita realizes that she should've sought help from a professional or trusted adult before running away. And now that she's been placed in a healthier living environment, she's spending more time with her mom in an effort to heal those past wounds. "Me and my mom are still cool," she says.
If you're thinking of running away or you know someone who has, you can also call the National Runaway Switchboard at 1-800-621-4000. |
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