We all tend to feel most comfortable when things go smoothly. Unpleasant friction between people can cause lots of problems…and it isn’t only personalities that can rub the wrong way! Sexually speaking, irritating friction can result from something (like a finger, penis, or dildo) being inserted into a woman’s vagina, and rubbing against the vaginal walls when they are not lubricated enough.
Vaginal lubrication happens naturally when women become sexually aroused. But sometimes there’s not enough lubrication to make sex comfortable. For various reasons, some women just can’t lubricate enough. Other women may have intercourse before they have had a chance to become fully aroused and lubricated. Unwelcome, abrasive friction also can occur during anal sex because the anus doesn’t lubricate itself like the vagina.
Why is wetter better??
Women enjoy the intensity of friction to varying degrees. Usually, though, the friction caused by vaginal dryness can make sex pretty uncomfortable, and sometimes downright painful. Plus, unlubricated friction can make sex with a condomless safe than it would normally be. Luckily, the vagina produces its very own natural lubrication, which keeps sexual friction from being abrasive.
So, my body will just take care of it, right?
First of all, a woman’s body has to be sexually aroused for it to lubricate itself. Foreplay is a term that refers to kissing and sexual touching before intercourse that causes the body to feel more aroused. Even when aroused, though, everyone’s body is unique. The thickness and amount of lubrication produced vary in relation to a woman’s age, menstrual cycle, level of arousal, and use of hormonal birth control methods, like the Pill, which can enhance vaginal lubrication. For many reasons, vaginas don’t always create enough lubrication to make penetration as comfortable as possible.
What does friction have to do with making sex “safer”?
Friction carries several hazards. For example:
- Partners who use condoms should be aware that not having enough lubrication would increase the chance of the condom breaking because abrasive friction can tear the latex.
- Abrasive friction can create small tears in the walls of the vagina, which may cause soreness and slight bleeding.
- A woman’s risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection increases if the vaginal walls tear, allowing a pathway to the bloodstream for viruses and bacteria.
- Anal sex without lubricant is a big risk for tears and bleeding due to friction, which increases the risk of sexually transmitted infection.
People who need lubrication can buy over-the-counter artificial lubricants. Or they can use plenty of saliva.
Tell me more!
Many condoms are already “pre-lubricated.” Using more lube with condoms can make penetration more comfortable, and also makes condoms safer! Here are some tips about using an artificial lubricant with latex condoms:
Tip #1
Use only water-based lubricants. Products that contain oil will work against the condom, because oil damages the latex, making it more likely to break. Some common, “condom-friendly” lubes are K-Y® jelly and Astroglide®. There are also flavored, water-based lubricants for use during oral sex.
Tip #2
Never use household products as lube with latex condoms! Vaseline® petroleum jelly, massage oil, hand lotion, and Crisco® are NOT good choices for lubricants, because they contain oils. A safe lubricant to use should say “water-based” and/or “safe for use with latex condoms” on the package.
Tip #3
Put a few drops of lube inside of the tip of the condom before rolling it down over the penis, and then put more lubricant on the outside of it. This will decrease friction between the condom and the skin of both partners. With the female condom, put lube inside and outside of the pouch. (Do not use male and female condoms at the same time.)
Remember — there must be lubrication, natural or store-bought, for any penetration to be as safe and comfortable as possible. A respectful partner should always communicate with the person that she or he is being intimate with, to ensure that shared sexual experiences are as comfortable and as risk-free as possible for both people.
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