teenwire.com gets thousands of questions each year about sexual health. When it comes to sex, many teens — and adults too — have trouble separating fact from fiction. Here are some common misperceptions about sex and the reality behind these myths.
Myth # 1: You can't get pregnant if you have sex when you're having your period.
It's not likely for most women, but it can happen. It is possible for a woman to get pregnant from intercourse during her period, especially if her menstrual cycle is brief or irregular.
Here's an example: In a 20-day cycle, ovulation — the release of the egg — may very well occur on day six of her cycle. Her period begins on day one. It lasts about five days. Ejaculated sperm can hang around in her body and fertilize an egg up to six days later. Let's say this couple has unprotected sex in the first two days of her period. The live sperm can wait around to join with her egg when it is released on day six. This could cause a pregnancy. And of course, another important concern of having unprotected sex — anytime during the month — is that it offers no protection against sexually transmitted infections.
Myth # 2: Oral sex isn't really sex.
There is no one definition of "having sex." People all have their own definitions of what it means. For many people "having sex" means engaging in a range of intimate, physical behaviors with another person or persons that can often (but not always) involve the genitals. For some people it is penis-vagina intercourse. For some people it is penis-anus intercourse. For some people it is mouth-genital contact. For some people it is sex toy-vagina play.
People decide for themselves what it means to them to "have sex." To avoid confusion when talking about what it means with a partner, it is important to clearly communicate your limits and expectations with partners and to be sure you understand their's. There is a wide range of fun, safe, pleasurable activities that people can engage in that are sexual. Good news: there is a variety of intimate behaviors that are very low risk for pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (such as mutual masturbation, phone sex, cybersex, and real-life manual sex play). Bad news: some behaviors (such as unprotected vaginal intercourse) can be very high risk for both! So whatever "having sex" means to you, play carefully!
Myth # 3: Condoms break frequently and really don't work.
FALSE! When used correctly, condoms are 98 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. And latex condoms are the best way to avoid sexually transmitted infections for people who are sexually active. Most breakage happens because condoms are used incorrectly. In fact, properly lubricating a condom helps reduce the likelihood of the condom breaking. However, only water-based lubricants such as KY jelly, Astro Glide, Slippery Stuff, etc., can be used with latex condoms. In fact, properly lubricating the condom helps reduce the likelihood of the condom breaking.
Myth #4: Most teens are having sex.
Surprise, surprise: no they aren't! The 2005 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, answered by nearly 14,000 high school students across the country, reported that less than half (46.8 percent) had ever had intercourse. So why does it seem like everyone's doing it? Well, there are a couple of reasons. The first reason is that we receive thousands of impressions from the media that suggest it's true. Teens today spend between six and seven hours a day with some form of media. On prime-time TV alone there are about 10 instances of sexual behavior per hour. Combine that with sexual images on YouTube and in magazine ads, music videos, billboards, pop-ups, and movies, and it all adds up to A LOT of sexual content that we're being exposed to. Another reason that it seems like most teens are having sex is that there is a lot of bragging, rumors, gossip, and guessing amongst teens. All this speculation can start to feel like "the truth," but it really is just hearsay. Teens need to decide for themselves when they are ready for sexual activity and know that it is perfectly "normal" to wait.
Myth #5: You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex ... or if you don't really have sex that often.
You can! You can! If you are having unprotected sex you can get pregnant — whether it is the first time or the one hundred and first time! It is even possible for a girl to get pregnant before she has her first period — this is because an egg is released before menstruation can happen. It is also possible to get pregnant whether you have sex frequently or infrequently. It's all about the sperm hooking up with the egg. If that happens, pregnancy can occur. If you are sexually active, it's important to use some form of birth control if you are not intending to become pregnant. You can call 1-800-230-PLAN and get connected to the closest Planned Parenthood center to make an appointment to talk with someone about your birth control options.
Myth #6: A doctor can tell if a girl is not a virgin.
Not generally. Even pelvic exams can't reveal if you've had vaginal intercourse or if you masturbate, unless there are specific signs. A health care provider may be able to tell a woman is not a virgin if she has
symptoms of a sexually transmitted infection such as herpes or genital warts
semen in her vagina from a recent act of intercourse
torn tissue from violent or rough sex
People used to think that if a women's hymen — the thin membrane that stretches partway over the opening to the vagina — was perfectly intact a doctor could tell she was a virgin. But women are born with varying amounts of hymenal tissue. Some have so little that it may seem they have none at all. Many activities besides vaginal intercourse can stretch open the hymen. These include bike-riding, using tampons, or playing certain sports. For these reasons, the state of a women's hymen is not a reliable indicator of whether she has had sex.
Occasionally, if a woman has a perfectly intact hymen that covers most of her vaginal opening, her clinician might think that she is a virgin. And if hymeneal tissue that a clinician has previously observed appears changed, she may think that sexual intercourse has occurred. In either case, the clinician cannot be sure unless she is told. So usually, the only way a clinician will know if a woman's had sex is if the woman tells her. That's why it's important to tell your clinician if you are having sex. Don't let embarrassment become a health risk. Let your clinician know what is going on with your sex life so that she can make a more informed evaluation of your health status.
Sexuality and relationship info you can trust from Planned Parenthood® Federation of America
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