 |
IN FOCUS: ARTICLE |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Gay, Straight, Bi ... Do Labels Matter?
by TAG and Ellen Friedrichs, 03.31.06
"Labels can be a way of forming an identity or organizing a community." |
|
Does being attracted to or "hooking up" with someone of the same sex always mean a person is gay or bisexual? When is it the real deal, and when is it just "experimentation"? The TAG team sat down to talk about same-sex attraction, sexual orientation, and labels.
TW: Does having a sexual experience with a member of the same sex mean that someone is lesbian, gay, or bisexual?
Alex: Having a same-sex experience doesn't necessarily make you gay. A lot of people are just curious.
Melissa: I think that certain experiences between members of the same sex do identify someone as gay or lesbian or bisexual. I don't think a same-sex kiss makes someone gay, but I think that having sex with them does — it's a much bigger commitment.
Olga: It doesn't always mean that someone is gay or bi or lesbian if they hook up with someone of the same sex. For some people, it's because they're gay. For other people, it just means you are comfortable with your sexuality. Every situation is different.
TW: If someone does not identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual, why do you think she or he would hook up with a member of the same sex?
Joshua: There are a lot of reasons. Maybe they just want to try it, maybe they are curious, or maybe they don't call themselves gay but they don't completely call themselves straight either.
Melissa: It's a way of figuring out whether you're interested in people of your gender or not.
Sifat: Some people who are "straight" might be attracted to one specific person of the same sex, but not necessarily think of themselves as gay in general.
Adam: Often people don't want to use a label like gay or lesbian or bisexual because of homophobia. Other times, those labels might not seem appropriate for someone.
TW: Do different standards apply to guys and girls?
Adam: I think it seems much more acceptable for girls to experiment with girls. Since even intimate friendships between guys are often looked down upon, there isn't as much room for guys to explore if they want friendships to lead to anything more.
Alex: I think different standards apply to boys and girls. From what I've seen, it's considered the hip new thing for girls to be bisexual, but most people still don't think it's OK for guys to do the same thing.
Olga: I think there is a different standard for guys and girls. I know people who think it's nasty for guys to hook up with each other but that it's sexy for girls to do it. A lot of girls at my school will hook up with each other for fun at parties, but it never happens with guys I know.
TW: When it comes to sexual orientation, are labels important?
Sajjad: Sexual orientation is something you are born with. Labels can be a way of forming an identity or organizing a community.
Alex: I don't think it's anyone's business to label another person. People make a lot of mistakes with labels. During my freshman year of high school, everyone assumed I was gay. It was hard because I went to a really homophobic school and it made people not want to get to know me.
Adam: Although I don't personally think that labeling a person's sexuality is important, I realize it is often unavoidable. As a society we feel the need to define everything about a person, whether it's their taste in music, their socioeconomic status, their race, or their sexual orientation.
What the Experts Say ...
We are all born with our sexual orientations. Sometimes we experiment with sex in ways that don't represent our sexual orientation. Sometimes what we do sexually does represent our sexual orientation. Girl or guy, it's perfectly normal to be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight. It's also perfectly normal to be "questioning" — to be unsure about sexual orientation, or to feel like none of the labels quite fit. Many people find that it takes a while to figure out their sexual orientation — it's a natural part of living life and learning more about ourselves.
* * *
What would you like to hear TAG talk about? Send us a Talk Back comment with the subject line "TAG." |
|
|
|
Printable Version
Email this page