Is a few minutes of feeling good worth such a huge risk?
When it comes to condoms, people come up with countless excuses for not using them. But skipping condoms puts people at risk for sexually transmitted infections — and, if they're not using another kind of birth control, for pregnancy, too.
So what can you say if a sexual partner or friend makes excuses for not using condoms? Our TAG team had some suggestions.
Excuse: I don't know how to use one. Response: All condoms come with instructions. Plus, you can practice when you're alone until you get it down.
Excuse: I'm not comfortable asking my partner. Response: If you can't talk about using condoms, you're probably not ready to have sex.
Excuse: They're too expensive. Response: They only cost about 50 cents each. If that's too much, why don't you see if you can get them for free at school or a clinic?
Excuse: I didn't have any left. Response: Always keep some on hand. And if you don't have them, there are plenty of things you can do with a partner that don't require condoms.
Excuse: My friends aren't using condoms and they're fine. Response: You know what your mom always said ... "If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" And since it take about 10 years for symptoms of HIV to develop, your friends might not be as fine as they think.
Excuse: People our age don't have to worry about getting infections. Response: You've got your information wrong. Two-thirds of people who've had sexually transmitted infections got infected before age 25.
Excuse: I'm allergic to latex. Response: In that case, you can use a female condom. They're made of plastic.
Excuse: I forgot to use one. I was drunk. Response: Being drunk can make you take risks, like not using condoms. Don't have sex when you're drunk or high.
Excuse: I don't want my parents to find them. Response: You could keep them in your locker at school, or ask a friend to hold them for you.
Excuse: I don't have an infection, so I don't need them. Response: A lot of people have infections and they don't know it, because they don't have symptoms. Besides, your partner might have an infection.
Excuse: My partner doesn't want to use them. Response: Have you talked to your partner about the risks of not using them? People who really care about you want to keep you safe.
Excuse: It feels better without one. Response: Is a few minutes of feeling good worth such a huge risk? Try a few different kinds and you'll probably find one that feels right.
Excuse: I'm embarrassed because normal condoms don't fit me right. Response: Most condoms fit most guys, but there are many different sizes and fits out there for you to try. Remember, every guy's penis is different — be comfortable with your body and your partner will, too.
Excuse: In the heat of the moment, I won't want to stop. Response: Take a condom out before you start having sex and keep it nearby. Then it won't be a huge inconvenience. Also, you can put one on as soon as the guy has an erection so you won't have to stop later on.
Excuse: I don't want my partner to feel insulted. Response: Talk to your partner in advance and explain that using a condom isn't an insult — it's a sign that you care.
* * *
What would you like to hear TAG talk about? Send us a Talk Back comment with the subject line "TAG."
Sexuality and relationship info you can trust from Planned Parenthood® Federation of America
Printable Version
Email this page