Maybe you take the bus to school every day while your neighbor shows up in a shiny new SUV. Or maybe you’re the kid who jet-setted around France for the summer while your friends be pulled double shifts at the local fast-food place. It can be uncomfortable when you have a lot less money, or a lot more money, than your friends and peers. So how do you deal with these class concerns?
Dealing with the Difference
If you’re pinching pennies while your friends are always making plans for expensive activities, it can be a good idea to approach them about it. They may not realize that you’re having trouble keeping up with their lifestyle, and they may be perfectly happy just to hang out. “Just spending time chilling with some good friends is better than anything money can buy,” says Jacob, 17.
If your friends are itching to get out, you can still go along and keep costs down. Go to a Saturday matinee instead of a full-price movie. Order a simple hot chocolate at the local coffee shop instead of a $5 mega-beverage. Go to the mall and buy one small, fun item — save the bigger purchases for another time when you can look for bargains and won’t be pressured to overspend.
You can also take the initiative and suggest other low-cost activities:
- going to the park or the beach
- playing a board game
- doing a group art project
- checking out a museum that has free admission for students
- playing a pickup basketball game
- going hiking
- cooking dinner and dessert for yourselves
- checking out a free concert
Hey Big Spender …
On the flipside, if you’re the one with major cash, think about how your spending habits might affect your friends. If you go out for a three-course meal and your friend only orders a salad, don’t split the check evenly — pay for your portion. Offer to chip in for gas if your cash-strapped friend is always driving your friends around. You could even treat a friend to lunch once in a while.
Most importantly, talk to your friends and find out if things are getting too expensive for them. Being upfront about issues like these can head off resentment and awkwardness.
Seeing Green
But even if your friends are considerate of your situation, it can still be hard to be one of the “have-nots.” If you find yourself green with envy, try to remember that people — rich or poor — want to be liked for who they are — not just what they have. “Sometimes I wonder if people really want to be with me, or if they just want a ride to school in my car,” says Jacob.
“My family doesn’t always have everything that we want, but we always have what we need,” says Alex, 16. “My parents work hard for that, so if someone wants to diss me because I don’t have the right stuff, then I probably don’t want to hang with them anyway.”
Money Isn’t Everything
Alex is right on. You’ve heard it before, but it’s true — money isn’t everything. Despite how much money you or your family has, it can’t make you happy or smart, and it can’t solve all of your problems. Now, you may be thinking, “Sure, money isn’t everything, but it can buy you things.” But ask yourself: Are your things really that important? Try answering these questions and see where you stand:
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- If your home was on fire and you could only save one of your belongings, what would it be?
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- If you could give any gift to any one person in the world, what would your gift be and to whom would you give it
- What’s most important to you in the world? What couldn’t you live without?
Chances are, your answers to these questions aren’t your stereo, your jewelry, or even your car. The most important things in life usually aren’t our possessions — they’re our family and friends, our values and our health. So the next time you find yourself envious of someone else because of what they have, think about what you’d rather bring to a deserted island: your Playstation or your best friend!