 |
IN FOCUS: ARTICLE |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
Is This Seat Taken? Making Friends at School
by Elisa Klein, 03.04.05
"I would rather be by myself than have to act all phony to hang out with my friends." |
|
Many teens agree that one of the scariest places at school is the lunchroom! Figuring out where to sit — and more importantly, with whom — can be intimidating, threatening, and downright unappetizing. From dealing with cliques to worrying about the rumor mill, finding your place in a crowd can be stressful. But whether you are starting at a new school, or just settling back in after break, here are some tips for making friends that you can count on — even in a not-so-friendly environment!
Get Involved
Trying out for the school play, joining the basketball team, or working on the yearbook are great ways to meet friends. And so what if you don't actually get picked for the cheerleading squad or varsity soccer? Chances are, you and the other hopefuls will bond over the experience. "My closest friends from high school are the girls from cheerleading tryouts," says Allie, 19. "A bunch of us didn't make the squad, so we got together and started a dance team." Getting involved in activities requires a little effort on your part, but it's a great way to meet people with similar interests.
Feeling frustrated because you got the cold shoulder from an old friend who is suddenly too cool to smile or even say hello? There's nothing worse than being dissed, so remember that the next time someone tries to break in to your crowd. Treat people the way you want to be treated — that means being nice to everyone, even if they aren't in your circle of friends or members of the cool crowd. And if you keep on getting snubbed by a particular person or clique, move on! You don't need friends that treat you, or anyone else, with attitude.
Pass on Popularity
We know that you've heard it before, but it's true — life is not a popularity contest! If you're looking to make real friends (like the kind that last longer than second period) then stop focusing on who's cool and who's not. According to Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees and Wannabees, many teens think that being popular will solve all of their problems, but this is simply not the case. So don't limit your circle of friends to only the "in crowd." And don't worry that just because you are a great athlete means that you can't also hang out with your friends from the debate team. Making friends with different backgrounds and different interests makes life a lot more exciting.
Be Yourself
You may not be the funniest person in your class, or have the best pitch that the team has ever seen, but that's okay! True friends will stand by you and support you no matter what. Acting fake to win friends won't get you very far. In fact, most people will see right through the plastic-act. So the bottom line is to be who you are. "I would rather be by myself than have to act all phony to hang out with my friends," says Jacob, 16. "Real friends know the real you, and they have your back even when things aren't so great."
Truer words were never spoken! So relax, be yourself, and be nice. And the next time someone approaches you in the lunchroom and asks, "Is this seat taken?" move over, and make room for some new friends! |
|
|
|
Printable Version
Email this page