Talk about condom use before you are in a situation where you might need one.
You and your new sig other are sharing an intimate moment on the couch when your sweetie whispers in your ear, "I have condoms in my backpack, just in case..."
Your heart stops and your mind races. Why is she carrying condoms? Does he think you're easy or something? Doesn't she trust you? Maybe he has a sexually transmitted infection!
Jumping to Conclusions
If the condom issue has you jumping to these conclusions, you're not alone. A recent study by the Kaiser Family Foundation found that some teens think that asking their partners to use condoms will make them suspicious or send the message that they don't trust their partners. Some teens may even think that bringing up the idea of condoms is insulting.
But this couldn't be further from the truth! "Offering to use a condom isn't insulting, it's just smart," insists Lexi, 17. Don't be fooled into thinking that condoms are about mistrust and disrespect. Carrying condoms shows that your partner is caring, responsible, and mature.
It's crucial to remember the facts: latex and female condoms are highly effective in preventing pregnancy, and they're the only form of birth control that also help reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections. Condoms block the exchange of body fluids and protect you and your partner during vaginal, anal, and oral sex. In order for condoms to be effective, they must be used with every partner, every time you have sex.
Don't Let Embarrassment Become a Health Risk
Maybe condoms aren't your favorite conversation item, but if you're too embarrassed to talk about protection with your partner, you may not be ready to have sex.
Still, we know that bringing up condom use can sometimes be a tricky subject. Here are some helpful hints to make condom talk a little bit easier:
Don't be shy. Be direct about your feelings. There's no reason to be embarrassed!
Don't wait until the heat of the moment to bring it up. Talk about condom use before you are in a situation where you might need one.
Don't be afraid of rejection. If a partner doesn't care enough about you to use a condom and protect your health, then she or he probably isn't worth your time. As 18-year-old Ari says, "If your partner turns condom use into a trust issue instead of a health issue, why would you want to have sex with that person anyway?"
Be positive! Many people find sex more enjoyable when they're protected because they don't have to worry about pregnancy and infections.
Having the Talk
You may also want to practice what you are going to say to your partner. Here are some suggestions:
If Your Partner Says: Baby, you can trust me.
You Can Say: Trust has nothing to do with it. You could have a sexually transmitted infection and not even know it.
If Your Partner Says: I thought you loved me...
You Can Say: I'm not going to "prove my love" by risking my life, and if you really loved me, you wouldn't ask me to do that.
And most importantly...
If Your Partner Says: I'm not wearing a condom... and that is the end of this discussion.
You Can Say: Well, then I guess we're not having sex... and that is the end of this discussion!
Talking about condom use is easier if you are in a healthy relationship that makes you feel good about yourself. And it gets easier with time, as well. But no matter what, it's very important to communicate with partners about condoms. It's all about protecting your health!
Sexuality and relationship info you can trust from Planned Parenthood® Federation of America
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