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Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman
by Shiri Ourian, 06.29.04
"I didn't even want a boyfriend yet, but boys started being interested in me." |
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Angela was more than five feet tall, with full C-cup breasts and curvy hips. You might think that Angela is pretty lucky, but she sure didn't feel that way. At 13, this body made Angela very uncomfortable and embarrassed. It affected her social life, the way she dressed, and the way she felt about herself.
Becoming a Woman... Fast
Most girls start puberty between age eight and age 14. The changes can happen slowly or quickly. Everybody goes through puberty, but it can be awkward and confusing for girls like Angela, who started puberty early and went through it fast. For her, the worst part about it was all the attention she got when her hips started to widen and her breasts started to fill out.
"I didn't even want a boyfriend yet, but boys started being interested in me," she says. "They teased me, saying I had breast implants, and they'd stare at my breasts when I talked to them." When her body started to develop, it also changed her relationships with friends. "I had always hung out with guys, and then they started to notice my body and I became self-conscious. Everything changed."
Dealing with Development
Girls who get teased about a developed body shape by their family or peers often become dissatisfied with their bodies and have less confidence in themselves. "It's not fun to be a shapely 10-year-old getting envied, desired, or teased when inside you still feel like a kid," explains Carol Weston, author of Girltalk.
The way we view our bodies influences the way we feel about ourselves on the whole. Edie remembers her mom and her friends making comments about how "developed" her body was. "I didn't like myself at all. It felt like everybody just saw me for my boobs and my butt, and I wanted a different body," Edie remembers.
While Edie couldn't get a different body, she definitely tried to hide the one she had. "I wore baggy sweatshirts and loose pants, and I always changed for gym in the bathroom stall," she recalls. "It depressed me that I couldn't wear the clothes I really liked, but those would show too much."
Many girls who feel uncomfortable about the changes in their bodies during puberty go to great lengths to cover it up. Other girls go to more extreme measures — like going on crash diets — hoping that if they lose weight, their breasts would get smaller and their hips would disappear. In fact, girls who hit puberty early are more likely to develop eating disorders.
Getting Comfy in Your Skin
Puberty is a fact of life, and there isn't much you can do to stop Mother Nature's work. What you can do is to make the best of what you got and learn to cope with the attention your new body is getting. Here are some suggestions for how to deal:
- Talk it out. If the attention is coming from your friends or a family member, tell them it makes you feel uncomfortable, and ask them to stop. They may not know that you're not fully comfortable with the way you look.
- Ignore it. It's definitely not cool, but the fact is, most people get teased about something during their lives. Some people get teased for being skinny, some for being smart, some for having red hair ... and the list goes on. Don't give in — act like it doesn't bug you! Says Angela, "Once my guy friends saw that it didn't bother me, they stopped." And keep in mind that many people feel awkward about being a late bloomer in the same way that you may feel awkward about being an early bloomer. As the old saying goes, the grass is always greener!
- Act confident. It's harder to tease someone who is confident in herself. People who make comments to you about your body often do so because they sense that you feel vulnerable or insecure about yourself. (Or maybe they're just jealous of your bodacious bod!) Stand tall — remember that many girls would do anything to get some of what you've got.
- Get help. Sometimes unwanted attention can go too far. If someone makes you feel threatened or uncomfortable — whether it's an adult or someone your own age — turn to a trusted adult, and make sure you take the steps to make the situation stop.
Most of all, remember that everyone goes through puberty, and sooner or later, your friends will catch up with you! Your body is fine just the way it is — it's the way you view about your body that could use a lift! |
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