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Surviving Valentine's Day
by Kari Croop, 02.13.04
"It kills me to see people spending so much money on corny stuff." |
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Remember when the biggest problem you had on Valentine's Day was deciding whether you should give a card to that "icky" boy or "gross" girl in your kindergarten class? Now you're older and wise enough to know that having a crush won't necessarily give you cooties, but there's a whole new set of V-Day stresses to deal with.
Maybe it seems like everyone's in love on Valentine's Day — except you. If you're single — or even worse, if you're just getting over a heartbreak — it can just plain suck to be on your own. "Last year I had to watch my ex-boyfriend get all over another girl he was going out with," remembers Shari, 14. "It made me feel like a huge loser — until I remembered why I broke up with him in the first place. Then I felt kind of sorry for her!"
For those who are unattached, Valentine's Day can seem completely pointless — just one more way for the nation's card, candy, and flower companies to make a quick buck. "It kills me to see people spending so much money on corny stuff that they wouldn't buy any other day of the year," says Grant, 16, who works part time at a card and gift store in the mall. The biggest seller? Cards, of course. "Those stupid stuffed animals that say 'I Love You' or 'Be Mine' run a close second," he says. If you'd rather wear head-to-toe black in protest, that's your prerogative — just take it easy on your love-struck friends.
For the Lovebirds
If you've got someone special in your life, a day devoted to love can be downright cool. It's a great time to appreciate your sweetie and let her or him know you're smitten. If you're short on cash, don't worry — some of the best gifts only cost a few brain cells. Making a thoughtful list of your honey's best qualities, sending a text-message poem, or serenading your SO in the halls (if you've got the guts) are all great ways to show you care. And they're a lot more original than something you might pick up at the mall.
But being in a relationship doesn't mean your Valentine's Day will be all hearts and flowers. A lot of gay teens might feel left out of a holiday wrapped up in traditional images of guys courting girls and vice versa. "I'm only out to my friends so far," explains Erin, 15. "It's kind of a bummer that my girlfriend and I don't feel comfortable enough to go ga-ga over each other like everybody else at school that day."
A lot of couples feel pressure to keep a bad relationship afloat or to take a relationship that's not ready to the next level. "My boyfriend really wanted to have sex on Valentine's Day, but I knew I wasn't ready," says Kira, 16, who had been dating the same guy for more than a year. "It sounds dumb now, but I thought it was something I could give him. You know, I went out and bought the sexy lingerie and all that the week before. But then I got scared and didn't do it."
Having sex is a big decision, so try not to feel pressured by the "everybody's doing it" vibe that may be floating around come V-Day. And if you do choose to celebrate Valentine's Day like that, by all means, be protected! Nothing kills romance faster than an unplanned pregnancy or sexually transmitted infection!
V-Day Strategy
On Valentine's Day, it seems like everybody's feeling all warm and fuzzy. So it's tempting to get caught up in the moment and decide you're ready to tell all, and give all, to your crush. It's great to have confidence, but make sure you're not getting swept up and setting yourself up for something you might regret. After all, springing your true feelings on someone might be a little more sincere if you do it on an otherwise normal day. Like, say, a random Tuesday in March.
And remember, single folk: February 14 isn't just for lovebirds. So what if your best friend has a romantic dinner planned with someone else? Instead of sulking at home, grab a group of single friends and plan your own perfect night. Whether you decide to stay in and watch sappy movies or go out and make some noise, you'll be doing something that's cool to you. And being independent is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. (Well, that and a tasty box of chocolates!) |
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