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The Locker Room and the Closet
by Scott Sepich, 11.11.03
"Sports are about competition, not what sexual orientation you are." |
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One day before the start of the 1995 Major League Baseball season, San Diego Padres outfielder Billy Bean was sent down to the minors, which is one of the most disappointing things that can happen to a big league player. But that was far from the worst thing Bean had to deal with that day. Bean, who is gay, watched his partner die of complications related to AIDS just a day earlier. Hours later, Bean went to the ballpark for the last spring training game of the season.
The thing is, none of Bean's teammates even knew he was gay, let alone that he had a partner who was dying. Bean was so afraid that someone would find out he was gay that he didn't even attend the funeral of the man he loved.
In the world of professional sports, male athletes are usually expected to conform to stereotypes of "manliness" — to be tough, strong, and heterosexual. Homophobic and sexist slurs are used to insult players who are perceived to be weak or are playing poorly. Some professional athletes have publicly declared that they wouldn't want gay athletes on their team, because gay teammates might hit on them or be aroused by seeing them walking around in towels. In short, the climate in the locker room is about as far from gay-friendly as you can get.
Maybe it's not surprising, then, that no professional male athlete in the four major sports (football, baseball, basketball, and hockey) has come out as gay while still active in his sport. Bean and former NFL player Esera Tuaolo both came out after they retired from professional sports, garnering a lot of attention in the process. Both have written books that tell of their struggles as gay men in one of the most anti-gay professions.
In this kind of hostile environment, why would an athlete choose to come out? "To be able to live his life fully and honestly or to share an important part of himself with teammates and friends," explains Dan Woog, a high school soccer coach and author of Jocks: True Stories of America's Gay Male Athletes and Jocks II: Coming Out to Play. Coming out can be empowering, and many athletes have spoken out in support of gay teammates.
"I don't see what the big deal is," says Tyler, 17, a basketball player. "Sports are about competition, not what sexual orientation you are. Even if there are people who don't approve of homosexuality, I don't see what that has to do with sports." Sounds like professional athletes could learn something from the next generation of players!
If you're a gay athlete, deciding whether or not to come out to your friends and teammates can be an extremely difficult decision to make. Woog says that it's important to know your environment. Ask yourself if coming out might put you in any danger. If you think you'll be safe, are there people who can offer you support? "Make sure you have a support system in place, such as family, friends, teachers, or a local LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) youth organization," Woog says. And timing is crucial: "Do it when everyone can process the news," he notes. "In other words, don't do it in the huddle before the opening whistle!"
Being an Ally
If you aren't gay but one of your teammates is, you can help make the locker room a more safe and comfortable environment for him. "If someone says something like 'That's so gay' or 'I'm gonna kill that faggot,' stand up for your teammate in whatever way suits your style," Woog says. "Some people use humor, some get angry. It's not always easy to know what to do — but doing something is better than doing nothing."
With more people willing to speak out against homophobia, we can takes steps to create an environment where the locker room is a safe place for all athletes, so future Billy Beans don't have to wait so long to live the full, honest lives they've hoped for all along. |
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