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Five Crazy Things People Do for Love
by Tamekia Reece, 09.24.03
Beyoncé's not the only one who's "Crazy in Love." Lots of people do things they wouldn't normally do to get the guy or keep the girl. But where do you draw the line between just plain dumb and downright destructive? Read on to see what some other folks have to say ...
1. The Jealousy Thing
Let's face it — some people love a challenge. When a girl sees her honey flirting or hooking up with someone else, something kicks in and tells her to stay in the game until she's crowned the winner. Tisha, 17, says, "If I found out my guy was flirting with some girl, I'd do whatever I could to keep his attention."
Jennifer, 16, agrees. "Seeing my girlfriend with another girl would definitely make me want her more."
But everyone should know that playing games to make a partner jealous could backfire big time. A girl might think her honey doesn't value their relationship and dump him. Or worse, a guy might become abusive if he fears he's losing his partner.
2. Buying Love
There's nothing wrong with showing that special person you care by spending a few bucks, but when you feel you have to continuously shower your sweetie with gifts and/or money, there's a problem.
Take Raymond, 16, for example. "My girlfriend is really pretty. If I don't buy her nice things, she'll find somebody who will," he explains. "I don't want to lose her."
The fact is, if someone is only staying in a relationship for presents and money, eventually, she'll leave anyway — there's always someone else who has more money to spend. And who really wants a partner who only cares about material things, anyway?
3. A Whole New You
There's nothing wrong with tweaking your appearance a bit to feel better about yourself — or even to catch a certain someone's attention. But changing yourself drastically or trying to become something you're not to keep someone interested is a big no-no.
So you heard he likes blonds. That doesn't mean you should run out and dye your hair. Hey, the day you bleach your dark hair blond may be the day he decides he likes brunettes.
And girls certainly aren't the only ones who try to change themselves. "One day my boyfriend was acting like a real jerk, trying to be tough," says Kayla, 17. "I found out he saw me talking to one of the 'rougher' guys at school and thought that's the type of guy I wanted."
Changing for someone may attract that person's attention, but you'll always wonder, "Does she really like me or is it these blond streaks?"
4. Doing It
And then there's this big question: "If I don't have sex with him, will he break up with me or sleep with someone else?" Sleeping with a partner just to keep him or her around may raise expectations that you'll always give in to that partner's demands ... and that's just plain crazy. Using sex as a tool to keep someone interested is just a bad idea, any way you slice it.
5. One on the Way
Some girls have gone to really drastic lengths to get a guy to stay — like getting pregnant or pretending to be pregnant. They think that if they're pregnant, the guy has to stay — and maybe he'll even pop the question.
Amber, 19, says, "I poked some small holes in a condom and got pregnant on purpose. I hoped my boyfriend would ask me to marry him, but he found out what I did and broke up with me instead."
Lying about being pregnant, or tricking a partner into having unsafe sex, is just flat-out wrong — not to mention potentially dangerous. A relationship that's based on dishonesty and manipulation is bound to fail.
Not-So-Crazy in Love
There's nothing wrong with being head-over-heels or going the distance to keep love alive. But if you find yourself doing things that are destructive, manipulative, or dishonest, then you just may be fooling yourself. Real love is about trust and respect — it makes you feel good about yourself. So don't let Beyoncé fool you — there is such a thing as love without the craziness! |
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