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Locker Room Legends
by Ashley Rondini, 09.17.03
"The subject of sex always comes up when guys are hanging out without girls around. A lot of times, it turns into a kind of bragging contest — with everybody talking about how many girls they have hooked up with, and how far they've gotten with them."
— Calvin, age 15
"Whenever we're in a group of people, it's like all she wants to talk about is how many guys want to get with her, and what she did with her
latest fling. It's like, 'Yo, that's way too much information!'"
— Nicole, age 16
It's one thing to share a select few hook-up highlights with your best bud — maybe you're excited and feel like you gotta gush to someone. But it's something else entirely to broadcast all the juicy details to everyone in a 10-mile radius, just because.
So, why do people feel the need to tell the whole school how far they got on Friday night? The truth is, there could be lots of reasons for bragging about sexual experiences, but most come back to one common theme: being worried about what other people think.
"I'm SO not gay!"
Unfortunately, homophobia is alive and well. Because of this, some people may fear that they will be judged negatively or treated badly if they are perceived as possibly being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or questioning. So, regardless of their sexual orientation, they try to prove their "straightness" by going public with their (sometimes made-up) opposite-sex experiences.
"Hey, guys, can I play too? Huh? Huh? Can I? Please?"
It's totally normal to want to be liked and accepted by your peers. It's tough feeling like the odd one out when it seems like everyone is doing ... (fill in the blank) ... and you've never done it. That's why someone who is really stressing about not fitting in may be tempted to make up a story or two just to establish some "credibility" with the crowd. Of course, you've got to wonder: if you're faking it to be included, how many other people just might be doing the same thing?
"Hey, have I mentioned how hot I am?"
There are folks who actually think that bragging about their sexual experiences will make them seem more desirable, as if they believe it pays to advertise. Of course, they are also advertising the fact that they don't have much concern about the privacy and comfort level of others. So if you find yourself being drawn toward a person who is sharing juicy gossip about the last time she or he hooked up, ask yourself this question: Do I really want to be the headline story in next week's sex-news broadcast?
Let's keep it real — the more someone feels the need to brag about sexual experiences, the more insecure she or he probably is. If you find yourself making your private moments public, take a step back and try to figure what's really going on inside yourself. And, to flip the script, if you find yourself hearing more than you'd care to about someone else's "close encounters," you always have the option of changing the subject or exiting the conversation. After all, if the intimate details were about you, wouldn't you hope the person listening would do the same? |
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