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What Goes Up Must Come Down: All About Erections
by Ashley Rondini, 08.06.03
Hey! What's that up there, at the front of the class?
It's a bird!
It's a plane!
It's Johnny's erection, making a big ol' bulge in his khakis!
If you're a guy, and this is your idea of a nightmare, you're not alone. With all of the wisecracks people make about "hard-ons," "boners," and "stiffies," it's no wonder that the thought of getting an obvious, unwanted erection in public can really unnerve a dude.
On the real, though, guys everywhere experience unwanted erections, especially during puberty, and it hasn't been the end of the world for any of them, yet. Getting erections — even at inopportune moments — is just part of developing functional sexual and reproductive health.
What's Up With That?
The shaft of the penis is made up of spongy erectile tissue. In a normal, everyday, "just hangin' out" state, the penis is flaccid, meaning that the spaces in the erectile tissue are empty, causing the penis to look and feel soft. When a guy becomes sexually aroused, his heart speeds up, the erectile tissue relaxes, allowing blood to fill the tissue, which causes the penis to stretch and swell. As a result, the penis becomes bigger and more firm, and ... TAADAAA! An erection is born!
Puberty brings on the most frequent occurrences of erections. Erections may sometimes just "pop up" (literally) out of the blue, even if a guy isn't seeing or doing anything remotely sexy. This is what's called a spontaneous erection. It's also normal for a guy to get an erection, and even ejaculate, in his sleep — it's called a wet dream. In fact, most guys have several erections during the time they're asleep. Sometimes they're the result of erotic dreams, but often, spontaneous erections (while awake or asleep) occur just because a guy is very relaxed.
With the increase of hormones that the body has to adjust to during adolescence, there is bound to be at least a little unpredictability involved! Fortunately, a spontaneous erection will usually go away pretty quickly if you ignore it.
Staying Power
Of course, this brings up another major worry that many guys experience — performance anxiety. Whether or not they will admit it, most guys who have been faced with the possibility of having sex have been at least a little worried about their ability to get and maintain an erection "when it counts."
Your body's response to sexual stimulation can be influenced by lots of factors that are outside of your immediate control. Being overtired, feeling self-conscious or nervous, experiencing strong emotions, and getting distracted are just a few possible scenarios that might lead to temporary loss of an erection, even if a guy remains sexually aroused. If a guy is too tense, the erectile tissue can't relax enough to open up to the blood flow needed for erection.
But, like getting an erection at an ill-timed moment, losing one in the heat of the moment during sex play is also a common, and normal, occurrence. A man's erection is likely to alternate between harder and softer during sexual intercourse. Sometimes when that happens, if a guy is wearing a condom, it might slip off. Very often, men can feel when that is happening, and, if they are responsible, they'll withdraw and put another condom on when they get hard enough again.
That's why it's a good idea to have a few extra condoms around when partners decide to have sexual intercourse. That's also why female condoms are a good alternative, because men don't need to stay erect to keep one in place. (Female condoms can be used for both vaginal and anal intercourse.)
Playing It Safe
Another very influential factor affecting your sexual responses, which will usually be within your control, is whether or not you are intoxicated during sex play — being drunk or high may make it difficult to stay hard. Plus, if you're having sex when you're drunk or high, you're much less likely to be thinking clearly enough to use condoms, or to use them correctly.
Speaking of condoms, want to know a good way to calm those nerves and hang onto an erection? Talk to your partner about preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections before you start having sex play. That way, if the time does come, you'll be prepared. If you're using condoms, keep them handy so you don't have to fumble around in the underwear drawer in the middle of the act.
And in the End ...
If you do lose an erection during sex play, don't sweat it. It doesn't make you any less of a man, and it certainly doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you. Your partner should be able to take it in stride and be supportive of you. |
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