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IN FOCUS: ARTICLE |
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Loving the New Kid
by Harmony Tapper, 08.05.03
It's hard to be yourself when people are always judging you. |
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Relocate. Transfer. New house. New friends. New school. Long-distance relationships. Lost friends. Lonely. New. Weird. Moving. Yikes!!!
"YO, girl from Philly!" one boy yells. Her head turns — she knows the drill. This has become her name. With an accent that's tough to pinpoint, but painfully obvious, she's hard to miss.
Moving halfway across the country from the hustle and bustle of the East Coast to the laid-back, slow-motion pace of the Midwest is a tough transition. It's not just the accent that's different — it's the entire way of life. This girl's life has been turned upside down — she's gone from living with people she's known her whole life to living with people she knows nothing about. Now, every facet of her is scrutinized because she is the outsider.
Who is this girl? Me. But I refuse to be miserable.
Making the Best of It
Moving can open up your eyes to the world. Experiencing a new culture has taught me an important lesson: Life doesn't have to be negative, no matter how bad things look and feel. My first few weeks were difficult, but now, two months later, I find myself happier and happier with each passing day. Life got better with a little help from my friends.
A good friend of mine, Danny (he's 19), moved from Israel to Canada a few years ago. Although the experience was difficult, he was able to shed new light on being the new kid. "I tried to talk to people, see what people in the area did, what interests people had," he says. Danny believes it's important to meet new people and to get involved.
John, 20, made a hard move when he was 14, and shared some advice on making new friends. "Some kid I met briefly convinced me to join the wrestling team," he says. "Sports helped me make many friends, and helped me cope with my new surroundings." John inspired me to continue playing soccer, and I joined a township league.
Connecting With the Old Crew
It took 14-year-old Debbie longer to adjust to her new surroundings. To help her cope with her homesickness, she looked at photos and videos of her friends and wrote poetry. "Memories have helped me deal," Debbie says. She had the right idea. Rehashing old memories can sometimes make me sad, but my photographs and memories from Philly have been overall a great comfort to me.
Keeping in touch with old friends is just as important as meeting and creating friendships with people in the new town. My friend Allie, who also moved, keeps in touch with phone calls and e-mail. And she makes time to visit all her friends back home.
A lot of new kids try to be something that they're not, but Allie reminded me that you shouldn't try to be someone else. If people don't like her, they're not worth her time. Although I found Allie's advice to be the most important, it was also the toughest to follow. It's hard to be yourself when people are always judging you. But I learned that trying to be someone you're not is even harder.
No Regrets
Moving from state to state can feel like the end of the world, but I've learned that it really isn't. The move from Philly to Milwaukee taught me a lot about who I am, and made me realize that I'm a much stronger person than I ever thought I was. Being scrutinized by people was definitely tough, but being able to deal with it has helped me grow. |
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