 |
IN FOCUS: ARTICLE |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
The Fine Art of Flirting
by Elisa Klein, 05.13.03
You want someone to get to know you, not your body. |
|
Everyone knows that you like him ... your best friend, your next-door neighbor, the cutie who works at the pizza place. Everyone knows that you have a crush on the shy senior with the tortoiseshell glasses ... everyone but him, that is! Although you may feel like your emotions are stamped on your forehead in flashing neon — "I LIKE YOU, YOU IDIOT!" — sometimes it takes a little flirting to get someone's attention.
Flirting Is ...
So what exactly is flirting? We're not talking about flirting as in playing dumb. Or dropping your books so that special someone can pick them up, catch your gaze, and fall hopelessly in love. That only works in bad teen movies! Instead, think of flirting as a subtle use of body language and other cues that simply let another person know, "I'm interested if you are!" When there is attraction between two people, you may flirt without even realizing it. Some examples of flirting are
- making eye contact and smiling
- leaning in closer when someone is talking
- giving someone a compliment
If I'm feeling really brave, I may even causally touch someone when we're talking. I'll laugh and touch his knee or his shoulder for emphasis.
— Nina, 16 years old
Maybe you're not so brazen and you'd rather play it cool? Like when the hottie who never said two words to you in your lifetime out of nowhere mumbles, "Hey," as she walks by? Or have you ever felt someone staring at you, but when you looked up, the person practically gave herself whiplash trying to look somewhere else? That's definitely flirting ... but how 'bout taking it up a notch? A great way to flirt is to express some interest. As in, "Didn't I see you at the mall yesterday?" or "What did you think of that test?"
Sometimes to get someone's attention we may show off a little. Like when there's a mad rush to shoot baskets every time that cutie from homeroom walks in the gym.
Whenever Ariel walked her dog by the skate park, I tried to get her attention by catching some air. It would probably be easier just to talk to her instead of trying not to break my neck in front of her.
— Jake, 14 years old
Flirting Isn't ...
One thing is for sure, if you show some skin, you'll get some attention! But you want someone to get to know you, not your body. So, don't bare it all just to get some glances.
Also, flirting is not hooking up, although it could sometimes lead to that. And remember — flirting is never an open invitation for sex. If someone is trying to give you the eye, it doesn't necessarily mean she or he wants to sleep with you and in turn, just because you flirt with someone, doesn't mean you owe her or him anything.
When All Else Fails ...
So, you flirted your heart out and still aren't getting vibes from that special someone? You have two choices. You can muster up the courage to ask that person out, and possibly risk rejection, or move on, Romeo! Either way, you are that much closer to mastering the fine art of flirting.
Good luck! |
|
|
|
Printable Version
Email this page