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IN FOCUS: ARTICLE |
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Confessions of a Prom Queen
by Jayne Carey, 05.06.03
I couldn't believe that after all that build-up, it was over so fast. |
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A week before prom, during study hall, my friend Aimee told me that more than half of all girls lose their virginity on prom night. Could that be true? I already felt like one of the last virgins standing in my circle of friends. Aimee, who never had a serious boyfriend, had had sex plenty of times. And my friend Jamie and her boyfriend Neal had been dating for what seemed like forever. They were practically sex veterans.
"Jayne's gonna be a statistic," Aimee joked. I grinned and shrugged it off, but I got a knot in the pit of my stomach. I think it's because I knew she was right.
My Story
My boyfriend, Eric, and I had been dating since January, and we had already "tried" at least once to have sex. The problem was, we couldn't get the mechanics right. I really wanted to do it. But even though my body felt ready, I was still pretty scared to take such a big step, mostly out of fear it would hurt. After all, at that point, I'd never even used a tampon.
I was also convinced that the second I had sex, I'd get pregnant. Since I was old enough to talk to boys, my well-intentioned mom had prepped me about the dangers of going "below the neck." She'd been a virgin when she married my father, and she wasn't subtle about letting me know she hoped I'd make the same choice. It was a lot of pressure.
The Big Night
We had big plans for prom night, and I'd been trying on dresses and trying out hairstyles for weeks. After meeting a big group of friends for dinner at a swanky local restaurant, we hit the prom. I knew that I had been selected to sit on our school's prom court, which was surprise number one. (Forget your preconceived notions of a high-school popularity princess — I was far from it.) But surprise number two was becoming true prom royalty. Me? Who knew? For the rest of the evening, as I walked around in my rhinestone crown, I felt like the star of a really good after-school special.
After the last slow song, we headed home to change and then met our friends in the woods, where we'd be camping out under the stars. While Eric and I hadn't deliberately penciled our first time into the schedule, I think we both knew it would be "the night." Everything, after all, seemed just right.
Around two a.m., the fire started dying and people started heading for their tents. Even though I didn't want the night to end, I had to admit — I was really looking forward to getting some rest. But back in the tent, we decided to try for old time's sake.
Eric slipped on a condom, brushed his hair out of his eyes, and kissed me on the forehead.
"You ready?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said softly. And I meant it.
There was a brief, burning pain when our bodies fit together. But once he was inside me, the pain went away. I couldn't believe that after all that build-up, it was over so fast. I mean, literally just a few seconds later.
"Was that it?" I whispered.
"Yeah. I think so," Eric murmured, letting out a breath and collapsing beside me.
I closed my eyes and tried to savor this very important moment. But I was exhausted, and we both fell asleep.
The Morning After
The next day, I didn't feel any different, but I felt like I had a neon sign over my head glaring, "Ask Me How I Lost My Virginity." Eric and I couldn't help grinning at each other as we packed up the tent. But there was definitely a new vibe to our relationship. Things had changed. And, fortunately, the sex got better — and lasted longer! — as we both got more "practice" with each other!
But, as it turned out, I didn't marry Eric like I thought I would at the time. Soon enough we went off to college, and with me in Chicago and him in New York, our long-distance relationship fizzled after the first year. I was devastated, mostly because I think I really thought we were going to be together forever. Sex had seemed to draw us closer than I expected it to.
A statistic? Yeah, I guess I was. But I don't regret it. At least I was 100 percent sure about my choice. |
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