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What to Look for in a Partner (Besides a Great Butt)
by Katherine Flynn, 09.18.02
It's like hitting the jackpot when you click with a hottie who is equally interested in you. But sometimes you don't know much more about your crush than the fact that she or he is a 15 on the babe-scale of one to 10. Let's face it — at one point or another, you've probably been ready to drop everything for the jaw-dropping cutie with the great butt. Thing is, fine backsides are only one part of the relationship equation. Cute is always good, but looks aren't everything — they're just one part of the total package. Here are some tips on figuring out if you and your crush make the relationship grade.
Cross Your Heart ...
Honesty is the best policy. Cliché, yes, but true nonetheless. In order for your relationships to have value (including those with friends and family, not just romances), there must be honesty. Try to always get — and give — the straight goods, and look for honesty as an important quality in your partner.
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself to know if you and your partner are good at being honest with each other:
- Do you both admit when you are wrong?
- Do you both tell the truth without fear?
- Do you both forgive mistakes?
If you answered yes to these questions, you might feel that your partner is right for you.
Sometimes, though, honesty can lead to conflict. You might not always agree, but you have a better shot at building a strong relationship if you acknowledge your differences than if you withhold your feelings or opinions just to smooth things over for the moment.
We Never Talk Anymore ...
Communication is a biggie. It's a good thing when both partners express themselves and share their feelings. Clear communication can be tough — sometimes it's easier not to talk — but you can work on it. Ask for what you need. If something's bothering you, try to figure out what it is, share it with your partner, and maybe you can work through it together. And remember — expressing yourself is only one-half of good communication; the other half is listening!
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself to know if you and your partner are good communicators:
- Do you talk openly about your feelings with each other?
- Are you able to work through disagreements?
- Do you listen to each other without judgment?
If you answered yes to these, you might feel that your partner is right for you.
Find Out What It Means to Me ...
There's nothing worse than disrespecting your sweetie, except, perhaps, if she or he disrespects you. Respect isn't an issue to be taken lightly — skim through any relationship book and you'll probably find a chapter on the importance of respecting yourself first, no matter what kind of relationship you are (or aren't) in.
Make sure that you and your partner respect each other. Listening to and supporting your partner is a way of showing respect. Respect also means supporting each other in the things that are important to each of you. And respect means accepting the good with the bad; so be wary if it's only on your partner's terms that you make the grade.
Here are some questions you might want to ask yourself to know if you and your partner know how to spell R-E-S-P-E-C-T:
- Do you listen to each other's ideas?
- Do you treat each other as friends?
- Are you proud of one another?
If you answered yes to these, you might feel that your partner is right for you.
Whew!
Sure, it's a lot of work, but it's worth it if you're serious about finding (and keeping) a good partner. Even if you're just looking for a casual relationship, it doesn't hurt to do a quick once over to see if your just-for-fun chum has these bases covered.
No matter what kind of partner you're seeking, make it easy on yourself by scanning for qualities like honesty, good communication, and respect. And make it easier on everyone who knows you by demonstrating those qualities yourself! |
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