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IN FOCUS: ARTICLE |
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Girls Come Out
by Carol Lee, 02.15.02
"When I get a car, I want a big rainbow in the front window." |
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Deciding whether or not to come out is a huge decision. With all the discrimination against lesbians and gay people, it's no wonder that teens worry about how their families, friends, teachers, and even people they don't know will treat them. Dealing with your sexuality is hard enough. But it can be even more difficult if you're a girl daydreaming about the girl in your math class, while your friends are drooling over the boys on the football team.
Elina Kuusisto, from a small town in Minnesota, remembers what that feels like. When her friends started developing crushes on the boys at school, she faked it — but not for long. She came out as a lesbian three years later, in ninth grade. Initially, her peers' gossiping and name-calling depressed her. But Elina, now an 18-year-old, wouldn't have done anything differently. "It was worse for me getting harassed and not being out, than [it was] being out," she says. "I thought it would never go away, but it did."
While Elina was the only student at her school ever to come out, Danielle Kruszewski, 17, was attending a school in Levittown, PA, where "lots of kids are out." In fact, her school is so "gay-friendly" that she doesn't know if she'd be out if she went to a different one. For Danielle, being out at school is no big deal; it's her parents she worries about — mainly her father. "He's got nothing against gays, but it's still weird," she says.
Elina told both of her parents as soon as she started liking girls; yet she remembers a time when she felt "like the only weird kid out there." Her persistence through the tough times made her a role model for gay, lesbian, and questioning teens in her town. She's known for challenging a teacher who repeatedly used his interpretation of the Bible to defame gays and lesbians during class and confronting an announcer for telling gay jokes during a town rodeo. "I've been out for so long that kids come out to me," she says.
Sometimes coming out to your peers is easier, and it can make you feel good just to tell someone. Especially, if they're your best friends — you tell them everything. So why might coming out to your best buds seem so daunting? " I was afraid she'd think I was attracted to her. Sometimes I share a bed with her," Danielle says of her best friend, Monica. But Danielle's coming out only strengthened their friendship. Now Monica helps her get dates — like any true friend would.
Not that Danielle needs any. Besides relishing the joy of being herself, she has a new girlfriend. "I've been doing and being who I want to be. I have more self-confidence, and part of that contributed to me being gay, and [being] gay contributed to my self-confidence," says Danielle, who carries a binder to school with a sticker on it that reads, "I don't even think straight." "When I get a car, I want a big rainbow in the front window."
Danielle and Elina prove that being yourself is definitely the best way to confront your fears of how other people will react if you tell them that you're gay. Even if your parents and friends are upset when you first come out, they'll get over it and you'll be much happier. If they love you, being gay doesn't change that. |
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