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Guys Who Sleep With Guys: Things to Know About Safer Sex
by Ellen Friedrichs, 08.23.01
Revised 04.17.07 by Jon Knowles
There's a lot of talk about safer sex, but what does this mean for guys who have sex with guys? Unfortunately, it can be hard to find information that addresses men who have sex with men because most sex education is geared towards guys who are sexually involved with girls. And there may be mistaken assumptions about what sex between guys involves. Many people know that certain sexual behaviors are "risky," but they don't know how to protect themselves from sexually transmitted infections. Here are a few key things to know.
First thing's first — safer sex is anything we do to lower our risk of getting a sexually transmitted infection. It's about getting more pleasure with less risk. These are the most important ways to reduce your risk:
- Keep your partner's body fluids out of your body — mouth or anus. The body fluids to be most careful about are blood, ejaculate, pre-ejaculate, and the discharge from sores caused by sexually transmitted infections.
- Don't touch sores or growths that are caused by sexually transmitted infections.
Safer sex also means getting checked for infections regularly, and getting the correct treatment if you get a sexually transmitted infection.
Sex play that involves the lowest amount of risk includes body rubbing ("dry humping"), deep kissing, mutual masturbation, and erotic massage. But remember, some infections, like herpes and HPV, can be passed by skin-to-skin contact.
Oral Sex
Now let's talk about oral sex. The clinical name for oral stimulation of the penis is fellatio — the slang is blowjob. Compared to vaginal and anal intercourse, fellatio is less risky. However, whether a guy gives or receives oral stimulation, it still puts him at risk for infections such as gonorrhea, hepatitis B, herpes, syphilis, and, rarely, HIV and chlamydia. Also, keep in mind that a guy who has one infection may be more susceptible to getting others. To reduce risks, some guys do not perform oral sex to ejaculation. Other people reduce risk further by using condoms for even safer oral sex. Unlubricated, flavored condoms are usually preferred for oral sex.
Rimming
What about rimming? Rimming is a slang expression that refers to oral stimulation of the anus. The official term for this is analingus. Analingus can put both partners at risk for hepatitis, herpes, HPV, and parasites. For safer rimming, people use Glyde dams — thin pieces of latex, plastic wrap, or cut-open condoms placed over the anus. This acts as a barrier between the mouth and anus.
Anal Intercourse
Unprotected anal intercourse, like unprotected vaginal intercourse, is considered a high-risk activity. Guys who have unprotected anal intercourse are at high risk for many sexually transmitted infections, such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis, herpes, HIV, and syphilis. Proper use of latex condoms or female condoms (yes, many guys prefer female condoms when having anal sex with other guys) can reduce the risk of contracting dangerous infections.
Use only water-based lubricants, such as K-Y jelly or AstroGlide, or silicone-based lubricants with latex condoms. Oil-based lubricants like petroleum jelly, cold cream, or mineral and vegetable oils damage latex. (One of the advantages of using female condoms, which are made of polyurethane, is that any kind of lubricant can be used.) Usually, the anus does not produce a sufficient amount of lubricant for comfortable intercourse, therefore it is very important to use lube during anal sex. Lubricant also reduces the risk of tearing anal tissue and having a condom break.
There are many ways for guys who have sex with guys to be safer. And knowing how to protect yourself and your partner not only makes sex safer, but also more enjoyable. |
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