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Abstinence — Is It Right for You Now?
10.25.00
Maybe you're waiting for the right person to have sex with; maybe you're just not ready to do the deed yet. Or maybe you're currently sexually active but thinking about trying out abstinence. Whatever the reasons are, you're not the only one. Many men and women abstain from sex play at different times in their lives. Some choose to abstain all their lives.
What Is Abstinence?
There are two kinds of abstinence. Both ways can prevent pregnancy by keeping a man's ejaculate and pre-ejaculate out of the vagina.
Periodic Abstinence
Sexually active women can reduce their risk of pregnancy by becoming familiar with their fertility patterns. Then they abstain from vaginal intercourse on their unsafe days when they could become pregnant. This is called periodic abstinence. Keep in mind that periodic abstinence doesn't protect you against sexually transmitted infections. At this stage in your life, periodic abstinence can be difficult because:
- It works best for women with very regular periods.
- Teen women often have irregular periods.
- Your partners may not wish to cooperate in using this method.
- Your relationship may not be as stable or as committed as is necessary for developing the trust and cooperation necessary for effective use of this method.
Continuous Abstinence
Continuous abstinence is not having sex play with a partner at all. It's 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. There are no medical or hormonal side effects to worry about — and, it's free!
If you're still thinking, "No way, not me, I'm not going to abstain," check out these stats. Women who abstain until their 20s and who have fewer partners in their lifetimes are less likely to:
- get sexually transmitted infections
- become infertile
- develop cancer of the cervix
Easier Said than Done?
Sure, it's not always going to be easy. You may find it hard to abstain for long periods of time, and you may even find yourself in a situation where you have a heat-of-the-moment decision to end your abstinence without being prepared to protect yourself against pregnancy or infection. In which case, having a back up plan, like carrying condoms, is important even if you are abstinent.
But if you have chosen to abstain from sex, you probably don't want a single hot and heavy moment to undermine your good intentions. So you could try avoiding sexual situations and things like drugs and alcohol that might make abstinence difficult. Plus, you could try chatting with people who you know will support you in your decision.
Just because you're abstinent doesn't mean you can't date, have feelings for another person, or be in a relationship. You'll need to tell your partner about your choice of abstinence before he or she might want to start hooking up. As long as you're honest with your guy or girl, you're cool. It might seem awkward, but once you get that conversation about your abstinence choice out of the way, you can get to the good stuff — like watching movies, holding hands, laughing, eating ice cream, dancing, bike riding, hugging, sharing secrets, rollerblading, shopping, going to the beach, listening to music, and much more.
One day your relationship may change, and your decision to be abstinent may change, too. Just remember: if you don't want to be abstinent anymore, check out your other birth control options, and get the info on how to protect yourself from infection. |
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