Dear unsertanty,

Coming out to a parent can be intimidating and scary. Know that every family is different and there's no sure way of knowing how your parents will react.

Generally, most parents go through these stages: shock, denial, guilt, expression of feelings, personal decision-making, and true acceptance. This process, however, can take years, and not all parents will ever be accepting.

The best way to decide whether to talk with your mom is to ask yourself these questions:

• Are you sure about your sexual orientation? Do you really want to declare it at this point in your life?
• Are you comfortable with your sexuality?
• Do you have the support of friends and family?
• Are you knowledgeable about the challenges that are faced by people who belong to sexual minorities?
• What's the emotional climate at home?
• What's your motive for coming out now?
• Do you have available resources to care for yourself if your parents decide not to because of your sexual identity?
• Are you financially dependent on your parents?
• What is your general relationship with your parents?
• What are their views about sexual orientation?
• Is coming out your own decision?

Exploring these questions will help you be clear about your sexuality in your own mind before coming out to a parent. Before coming out to your mom, it's very important that you are sure she will be understanding, if not supportive of your sexuality. If there's a possibility that you may be told to leave home or something equally drastic, it is definitely better to wait until you are in a better place to take care of yourself.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.