Dear shexlovesxhimxo,

Sure teenagers are capable of love! But for most people, the love affairs we have when we are young don't last as long as they might when we are older and have time to learn more about the different kinds of love we might have for each other. This is because there are different kinds of love, and all of them are "true."

There's the kind of passionate and exciting love that people first feel for another person when they fall in love and can't get the other person off their minds. There's a cool scientific word for this kind of love — limerence. It happens to young people and old people. It is a wonderful and very stimulating kind of love. It makes two people feel absolutely crazy about each other so they want to be together every minute and can't imagine being apart. But limerence usually doesn't last a very long time. Maybe a year or two, but not usually much more. Which is a good thing, because limerence is very exhausting. You might never get anything else done with your life if it lasted forever.

There's also a scientific word for the kind of love that sometimes comes after limerence — "companionate" love. It is a very strong caring for someone else that is not all about passion and excitement. People show companionate love by being there for each other, solving problems together, sharing hard times as well as good times, helping each other grow, and by being patient with each other. Companionate love can keep a couple bonded when limerence ends. It lets people become capable of having much longer, committed relationships.

Some people believe that limerence is the only kind of "true" love, and when it ends, their relationships also end. Because they tend to move from relationship to relationship throughout their lives trying to recapture limerence, they may not be able to sustain lifelong, companionate relationships.

Of course there are also other kinds of "true" love. The love of a friend, of God, of nature, and of family.

It's not always easy to know if or how we love someone romantically — that's true for both teens and adults. For most people, it takes years of experience, communication, and work to understand and value the difference between these kinds of love. Some people learn it within a single relationship. Most people learn it from having more than one. This is why most parents and caregivers hope that young people let themselves have more experience with love before they make their relationships legally permanent.

So your idea to wait is a very good one. It will let you grow, explore, and understand the love you have for each other and where it might take you.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.