Dear vanna14,

No one can make you get an abortion if you don't want one. Abortion providers only perform abortions for women who have made the decision to have one. Having a baby because your friends think you should, or having an abortion because your parents think you should, may not be what is best for you. You may learn from the advice other people give you, but you have to decide what's best for yourself.

A woman who has an unintended pregnancy has three options. She can raise the child, place the child for adoption, or have an abortion. Every woman needs to decide which option is best for her, but deciding may be hard to do. Talking with a trusted adult, such as a teacher, religious adviser, or trained counselor, may help you with your decision. You may want to find out if your school has counselors, or call 1-800-230-PLAN to be connected with someone at a Planned Parenthood health center who is trained to discuss your options with you.

There are many things to think about before deciding to have and raise a child. Once a person becomes a parent, she or he is responsible for another person for at least the next 18 years. Raising a child involves a major commitment in time and money. And in general, teenage mothers do not do as well in life as teens who delay childbearing. Their family incomes are lower. They are more likely to be poor and receive welfare, they are less educated, and they are less likely to be married. Their children may also have a harder time growing up.

Here are some things to think about before becoming a parent:

• Am I ready to help a child feel wanted and loved 24 hours a day for the next 18 years and beyond?
• Can I talk about my feelings and other important things with the father of the child, my partner, family, and friends? Will I have their support?
• Am I ready to accept full responsibility for parenting and go it alone, if it becomes necessary? Will I have enough money to support myself and a child?
• Am I mature enough to keep from harming the child physically or emotionally? (I won't ridicule, humiliate, slap, hit, shake, or threaten my child no matter what happens, no matter how frustrated I get.)
• Am I ready to seek whatever counseling I need to become a better parent?
• Am I ready to give up my social life with my friends to take care of my baby?
• Am I ready to put my school or career plans on hold?

Even with the help of your family and friends, being a single parent is not easy. It is often complicated and frustrating. Your child's needs will constantly change and so will your ability to meet those needs.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.