Your Question:
Dear Experts,
i have a boyfriend who i really love. he says he loves me but sometimes he can be real mean to me. like he calls me dumb and stupid. he makes me feel really bad. ive talked to him about it but he still does it. he says he loves me but is that true? does a person who loves someone disrespects the other person and mentally makes her feel bad. he tends to do a lot when he gets mad. i try to understand him but its hard i just dont get why does that when i dont like ever.
rebeldenina, 01.08.07
The Answer:
Dear rebeldenina, The basic qualities of a healthy, loving relationship include - respect
- trust
- honesty
- fairness
- equality
- good communication
Some teens find it helpful to evaluate their current relationship to see if they share these qualities with their partners. You may want to ask yourself, "Does my partner respect me? Do I respect him? Do I trust him? Is he always honest with me? Am I always honest with him? Do we treat each other fairly and equally?" Being mean can be a form of emotional abuse. Some teens may be emotionally abusing people and not be aware of what they are doing or why they are doing it. Sometimes, teens may be aware of it and not know how to stop. If you're having doubts about your relationship, talk to someone you trust about it. Sometimes having an outsider's perspective is helpful. Many couples work through their issues, but it takes hard work and commitment from both people. Some even go to couples counseling. And sometimes, as hard as it can be, it's best to throw in the towel and recognize your relationship might be more trouble than it's worth.
Hope this information helps! Take care, teenwire.com ® Editors
This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.
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