Dear spring_flower,

The only way to know for sure is to ask!

It's important for sex partners to have a caring and open conversation about orgasm and what each partner needs or wants to be satisfied. But it may take time to earn the trust for a fully honest conversation.

Orgasm is the peak of sexual arousal when all the muscles that were tightened during sexual arousal and excitement relax, causing a very pleasurable feeling that may involve the whole body. During orgasm, many women's heart rates skyrocket, their breathing quickens, and their blood pressure rates increase. Muscles throughout the body spasm, especially those in the vagina, uterus, anus, and pelvic floor. Chemicals called endorphins are released into the bloodstream. They cause pleasant sensations to ripple through the body, and they also make many women feel happy, giddy, flushed, warm, or sleepy.

Orgasm works pretty much the same for men. Although men can also experience full-body orgasm, the sensations are often felt more in the penis and the pelvic muscles. In general, men reach orgasm more quickly than women and when they do, they then have what is called a "refractory period," during which they cannot become erect and their interest in sexual activity decreases.

Although women generally take longer to reach orgasm, they do not experience "refractory periods" and can maintain interest in sexual activity after orgasm. Many women can have a series of orgasms, or multiple orgasms, one after the other. Many opposite-sex couples handle this difference in the timing of orgasm by helping the woman to reach orgasm first, before the man does.

Many women — about one out of three — have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex with a partner. And many women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation more often than through vaginal penetration alone. Some women will fake orgasm to make their partners feel good, to increase sexual excitement, to satisfy their own or their partner's expectations, or just to end the sexual activity.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.