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Sometimes I feel like I want to have sex with a guy, and sometimes I feel like that about a girl. What does this mean?

Sex, Etc.: A Girl Kisses a Girl ...Is She Lesbian? Straight? Bi?

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Your Question:

Dear Experts,

what happens if u have fantasy's about the same sex while you're masturbating? Are you gay?

galford888



The Answer:

Dear galford888,

Not necessarily. Many people have sexy thoughts, fantasies, or dreams about people of the same sex as well as the opposite sex. Sometimes people only have same-sex fantasies. Sometimes having same-sex fantasies and not having opposite-sex fantasies may mean a person is gay or bisexual. Sometimes it doesn't. Only time will tell.

Sexual orientation — being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight — is about sexual attraction. All these sexual orientations are perfectly normal.

Scientists are not yet sure exactly what causes someone to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or straight, but recent research shows that there are biological factors in place before birth that influence people's sexual orientation.

Still, it can take years to understand our sexual orientation. Often, people may find that they are "questioning" for quite a while, or that none of the labels seem to apply. Each of us has to answer these questions for ourselves, but it may take time before we can answer. Rest assured that many teens (and adults too!) are still figuring out their sexuality, so what you're experiencing is more common than you might think.

The Web site Outproud has resources that may help you sort through your feelings about sexual attraction and orientation.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.

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