Dear totally1,

Rape is the use of force or intimidation — physical or psychological — to make a person engage in sexual activity. And, although defined differently in different states, rape is generally defined as any coerced sexual intercourse — vaginal, oral, or anal.

We all have the right to say no to sex — whether we're guys or girls, and whether we're bisexual, gay, lesbian, or straight.

Consent — freely choosing to say "yes" — is not binding. That means that you have the right to change your mind at any time, for any reason. You are the only person who has the right to set — or change — the boundaries around what feels comfortable and good to you. If you consent to something but then change your mind, you have the right to stop it immediately. If both people are truly consenting to sex, it means that they continue to listen to each other every step of the way.

Having sex when you don't want to can be very painful and difficult to deal with. Many people who have been raped find it helpful to talk about their feelings with a counselor. You may want to check out the Web site MaleSurvivor.org, which offers information, support, and referrals to counseling for men who have been raped. You can also visit the Rape, Incest, and Abuse National Network (RAINN) Web site, or call its hotline for free, confidential counseling, at 1-800-656-HOPE.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.