Dear butter89,

Girls — and even adult women — may feel like they experience orgasm during sex play less easily or less often than guys or men.

Many women — about one out of three — have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex with a partner. Most women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation rather than through vaginal penetration. So if a woman is having difficulty reaching orgasm, she may want to try clitoral stimulation during, before, or after vaginal intercourse or oral sex. Her clitoris can be stimulated orally, manually, or with a sex toy such as a vibrator. Most women who reach orgasm with a partner have also experienced an orgasm from masturbation. Women who have never had an orgasm may want to try to masturbate to learn what pleases them.

Keep in mind, every woman's body responds differently to various kinds of sex play, and every woman has difference preferences for how she likes to be stimulated. That's why communication with a partner is very important. Our partners can't read our minds, so it's important to be clear about what feels good and what doesn't, and what we do and don't want to do.

A woman may find as she gets older that she has an easier time having orgasms because she has more knowledge of what is pleasing to her sexually, and because she is more comfortable communicating with her partners about what she likes and doesn't like sexually.

Guys don't always achieve orgasm — it's not uncommon for them to have trouble reaching orgasm, or getting or maintaining an erection. Sexual pleasure for women and men has a lot to do with emotion and relaxation. It is difficult to enjoy sex and reach orgasm if we are uncomfortable, self-conscious, or don't feel quite right about what's going on or about our partners.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.