Dear sinful2004,

Having a child is a huge decision. If you do not feel that you are ready to have a child, it's very important that you communicate your feelings to your boyfriend.

Once a person becomes a parent, she or he is responsible for another person for at least the next 18 years. Raising a child involves a major commitment in time and money. Here are some things you could discuss with your boyfriend next time he brings this up:

• Are we ready to help a child feel wanted and loved 24 hours a day for the next 18 years and beyond?



• Will we have the support of our family and friends?



• Are we both ready to accept full responsibility for parenting and go it alone if we split up? Will we have enough money to support ourselves and a child?



• Are we mature enough to keep from harming the child physically or emotionally? (We won't ridicule, humiliate, slap, hit, or threaten our child no matter what happens, no matter how frustrated we get.)



• Are we ready to seek whatever counseling we need to become better parents?



• Are we ready to give up our social lives with friends to take care of our baby?



• Who will be the primary caretaker of the child? Will the other partner be willing to put her or his school or career plans on hold and stay home with the child?

Having a child would dramatically change how you and your boyfriend live your lives, so it's very important to think these issues through before making a decision.

Bottom line: if you don't think you're ready, you're not ready! And if your boyfriend is pressuring you to have a child when he knows you're not ready, he is not thinking about your needs or what you want out of life.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.