Dear joeyone,

It's great that you're concerned about your girlfriend's experience. Having sex for the first time does not have to be painful.

Many women are concerned that they will feel pain when their hymen — a thin skin that stretches across the opening of the vagina — is stretched open during the first time they have vaginal intercourse.

Some women bleed the first time they have vaginal intercourse because the hymen is being stretched open. Some women's hymens have already been stretched by non-sexual activities like playing sports or using tampons. If not, the hymen can be stretched open before starting intercourse by putting a clean finger into the vagina and gently pushing it from side to side over the course of several weeks.

A common cause of pain or discomfort during vaginal intercourse — whether or not it's the first time — can be because a woman is not aroused enough. As a woman becomes sexually aroused, more blood flows into her genitals. (This is also true for men.) For a woman, this increased blood flow allows her vaginal canal to lengthen and widen. It also stimulates the production of vaginal lubrication. All these changes allow insertive sex to be more comfortable.

In some cases, the vagina doesn't produce enough lubrication to make sex comfortable. A woman can use a water-based lubricant — like K-Y jelly or Astroglide — to increase lubrication during sex. Water-based lubricants must be used with latex condoms. Never use an oil-based lubricant with a condom, because oil damages latex, which makes the condom more likely to break. Many condoms are already lubricated. Using more lube with condoms can make penetration more comfortable, and also makes condoms safer!

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.