Dear ICPDude83,

Having sex with a friend can be confusing and it is bound to have a strong effect on the relationship. If the couple wants the sexual relationship to continue, that will take some communication, so both people know what's going on. If the couple wants to return to a friendship without continuing the sexual relationship, that will take communication, too. If one person wants one thing and the other person wants another, then it's really important to have a good talk to clear things up, find a solution that both can accept with as little hurt as possible, and figure out how to handle the relationship in the future.

Being in a sexual relationship may mean something to one partner, and something else for the other. It is usually helpful to talk about what you want and don't want — your expectations — before getting into a sexual situation. That way, both partners are "on the same page" about what having sex will mean for the relationship.

Having sex play — from masturbation to flirting, from kissing to petting, from oral sex to intercourse — is a big decision. It involves many feelings and responsibilities.

It's true that having sex can be wonderful. But it can make people feel very vulnerable, and they can get hurt. For instance, we may expect a commitment from a sex partner. And when we don't get it — or get less of one than we want — it can feel very confusing and be very disappointing. So, it's important to think about the risks — emotional and physical — you are willing to take before deciding to have sex with someone.

It might be helpful to talk about the feelings you are having with someone you trust — a parent, a friend, a professional counselor, or someone else who cares about you and what will be good for you.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.