Dear murky,

That is a question women have to answer for themselves. Women who see themselves as lesbians are usually those who mostly have sexual desire for other women, with much less or no sexual desire for men. It may take many years in a woman's life for her to understand her sexual orientation. Or it may only take a short time.

Many straight and bisexual people, however, are also attracted to people of their own gender, and there is nothing unusual about such feelings. Some people take action on these feelings and some people do not. But having these feelings does not necessarily mean a person is bisexual, straight, gay, or lesbian.

Remember, touching people sexually without their consent isn't really fair or respectful. In fact, in most states it is illegal to touch people without their consent. And when they are sleeping, they cannot give their consent. So unless someone is pretending to be asleep to enjoy being touched sexually, or unless she has already given consent to being touched that way while she is awake, it's better not to touch her until it is clear that she has given her consent.

It may be helpful to find out how other teens deal with this issue. Check out www.outproud.org or www.youthresource.com to hear from other teens.

The Gay and Lesbian National Hotline has a toll-free number (1-888-843-4564) that offers peer counseling and information. Their hours are Monday to Friday from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m., Eastern Standard Time, and Saturday from noon to 5 p.m., Eastern Standard Time.

Call 1-800-230-PLAN to be connected to your nearest Planned Parenthood health center. They may know of support groups and other resources that are nearby for teens that are questioning their sexual orientation.

Hope this information helps!

Take care,

teenwire.com^® Editors

This column is for informational purposes only and is not intended to constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you have a medical problem, please call toll-free 1-800-230-PLAN for an appointment with the Planned Parenthood health center nearest you.